Do or Do Not, there is no Try!

This picture on Facebook inspired me to want to be and do better. This year I am not making specific goals so much as just striving to make this year be the best I can make of it.

Then I saw this https://hopeinhealingblog.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/10885208_851159908238284_1809357575737110073_n.jpg and thought YES! 

So here I am, ready to chronicle my exploration of myself, making conscious decisions to make positive choices... I leave you with Yoda's words... "Do or do not, there is no try"! Welcome 2015.

Broken

I sit here in frustration. I want to lose weight, but not bad enough to seriously do it. I want to go back to work, but I want to lose weight first. Then I wonder if I seriously don't work at my weight so I don't reach my goal of going back to work. My life changed when I had my hysterectomy. In some ways for the better, after all I get to PMS (bad part) but I don't deal with the bleeding (TMI I know but the silver lining to the PMS). I want to be a positive person who really see's life in happy ways but I find that nagging realist (aka conspiracy theorist) constantly fighting my trying to change myself for the better. Things that I lived for (aka sex) are completely and thoroughly and after thought. Which is good for me, because in my house we were the opposite, I was the one constantly requesting what my hubby was too tired for. I started to think I was weird, now that I never give it a second thought I find the roles have flipped and I keep telling him what needs to happen for me to be in the right frame of mind. But often sleep is all that happens. I'm just putting my thoughts out here because they swirl around in my head and I keep thinking that I'm broken and it seems as though no one is willing to help fix me. I know ultimately I have to fix me, or that time will adjust things in me to where they need to be. Sad thing is I feel as though I completely lost my patience, which I wasn't great at before, but I was far better than I am now. Okay I'm done talking to the world wide web now, silly really because in the end I'm just talking to myself in open forum. LOL

Time passes

It's amazing how fast time passes, wasn't aware that it's been a year since I've posted, ...OOPS!

2010 had good points and bad points. As I start 2011 the kids are both in school now, I've gained too much weight and I hope for a better year than 2010 was to us. Guess we'll see soon enough. To wrap up 2010 we started Zach on a program in school to help him figure out how to be less fidgety in class. He can focus on the work but plays with items and for some odd reason has taken on screaming in the boys lavatory.

No clue why the boy who doesn't like loud sounds himself would find himself in the boys restroom screaming. That one still has me scratching my head. Only thought I have mustard is that he liked the echo in there. Needless to say when the behavior specialist asked to work with him we jumped at the chance. I would rather find a way to get him to work his best now than let him get to developed and find more of a fight to figure out how to help him.

This week was our first at home meeting. Our weekly focus is on Developing a Positive Parent/Child relationship and Confidence Building. I find that I learn better by typing/writing things out in addition to what I've been reading. I thought it might be good to put it up here so if someone who doesn't' have this opportunity is searching for how to deal with something similar this might just help them too. :)

Developing a Positive Parent/Child relationship and Confidence Building
Parent Tips
Play
~Playing with your child is a powerful way to get to know your child better. If your child can lead the play interaction and you can support and find interest in their play, you and your child can build a strong positive relationship.
~Try to let your child direct the play.
~Observe and comment on what they are doing. For example, if your child is playing trucks you might say "So you are filling the truck with dirt."

Accept Feelings
~Even if your child is having a feeling you don't like, let it be expressed. It helps you see your child's perspective.
Example
This: "You sound like you were really mad"
Not this: "It's not right to say you hate someone."

Display Their Work
~When your child brings home work or art from school display it on a shelf, bulletin board or the refrigerator to show them you are proud of their accomplishment.

Send a Positive Message
~Leave a surprise note for your child that sends a message that they are loved and that points out their positive traits. Write a note with a smiling face or other drawing, with the words "I love you", or another, similar message ("I am proud that you are my son!" or "You are so much fun!"). Put the note under a pillow, in a pocket or in their lunch box. You can also decorate your note with a sticker. What a surprise!

Give Your Child Responsibilities
~One of the main ways children develop self-confidence and internalize values is through helping with family chores.
~Try to:
1. Choose tasks your child has already shown an interest in.
2. Make sure the chore is developmentally appropriate for your child's age and ability.
3. Spend time teaching them how you want it done by telling, showing and practicing.
4. Praise their efforts and successes!

Hoping all this will help him and build an even stronger family unit than we already have. I hope this will help someone else in need if not today someone in the future. :D

Next weeks topic: Self-Control

What I have taken away from 2010 is that life is far to short, hug a great big long hug to those that you love and that love you and help them be the best tiny humans they can be because with hope they will grow in to fantastic grown ups. HUGS from me to you! Thank you for stopping by.

Confessions

Track track track... I need to track to do my very best.

Truth be told I think I haven't been because it is easier to avoid it then admit I'm not doing what I should be doing. I just tracked my breakfast, YEAH ME! LOL

I had one of those days yesterday that I was over stimulated. After my shower I was so overstimulated I just wanted to cry so I took some Hylands Calms, sat down with the rest of my Dr Pepper, some pretzels and m&m's ...not the best choices but I was calmed down and managed to get through bedtime with the kidlets. {sigh} Why I am on here admitting to my food choices last night I will never know but maybe in my own mind it is documenting what I did to help me get passed it. I know better but I didn't eat the whole bag of m&m's so that in itself is a success and I want to give myself a pat on the back for it.

REFOCUS

I need to completely do another 180 and turn myself around. For me and for my family. I really do want to get down more in weight.

I think I want to share a video that Zoie and I found a couple years ago and I love it so it never hurts to put it up again and again hehehe





The reason I put this video in here is because it is to remind us that we need to stop over thinking things. Sometimes it is just okay to think outside the box and that can be just enough to be entertaining or obtain our goal.

What are you grateful for?

I'm grateful to have friends and family who love me and support me in my decision and do everything in their power to help me plod along.

Songs that ROCK

Artist Site

More Videos

Women!

Why on earth do we have to have so many of the annoying things to deal with. We get menstration which why is something that happens every month to a woman have to be called "men"stration? I mean what does a man have to do with that? Not only do we bleed but we get to deal with unbearable cramps, bloating and irritability but when we get to be without all that we get to be pregnant. I mean come on we get to go through the pregnancy with all the anxieties that come with it not to mention the morning sickness that can occur, plus we get to actually go through the birthing I know I know some women believe it is most wonderful thing in the world, well I'm not one of them.

LOL I mean I am glad I had my babies but I totally could have done without all the rest what it takes to get them here. Plus we get to worry about every cotton pickin' thing ... I mean how do we turn our brains off? I could do on but there is nothing I can tell you that you probably don't already know about women LOL I really just want to say teach us to be more like men and we'll gladly give you a awful trait we got stuck with.

Words to live by

Those of you that know me, know how much I love song lyrics. I love all kinds of songs for many different reasons, this song to me is so inspirational. You may have heard the song and never really listened to the lyrics then again maybe you have. I love the lyrics of this song because they are words to live by so my song for you all to embrace is:

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

(Gospel)
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Inside Tapiola Park

Here is a look down into one of the Victorians


Our truck out one of the windows in one of the Victorians.


A nod to the shipping industry, a tug boat for the kid'lls to play in.


If you go to Astoria you can ride the trolley that goes along the river front, my kids totally enjoyed their trip with daddy, here is the trolley in the tot's section (Fort Clatsop area), Zachy looking out at mama.


Here I am sitting on a bench in the Fort Clatsop area looking back towards the park.


Just a view of my kids playing just inside the Fort Clatsop entry...yes that is my biggest kid on the left hiding from our children.

Tapiola Park part 2

This is a view from the backside of the park where you park your rig. I took it in three shots to give you full idea of where things are.

Looking down near the Free Willy tribute, you can see the swings off behind it then over by the playground you see one of the slides coming out.

Here you can still see a little of that slide, the entrance using the Astoria-Megler Bridge and just on the other side of the bridge is the (pirate) ship climbing wall all the way over to one of the Victorian houses.



This one is from that same Victorian house down over the kiddie area that is in Fort Clatsop area.


This is an over view from inside the playground. Yes Scott and I were both in the middle of this playground with the kids.

Here is the view of going in, at his point I am past the Astoria-Megler Bridge looking towards what I am guessing is a nod to the Astoria Column, you can see that same green slide going out of the play area.


You can see Scott down with the kids here, viewing from up near the Flavel House down towards the Fort Clatsop area.


In my same location this view is back towards the backside of the ship climbing wall towards one of the many Victorian houses.

Tapiola Park part 1

We found the coolest kids play structure on our last camping trip. Well we didn't find it like it was hidden but I found this book on Astoria, as I was browsing through it I came across the mention of this park. I thought it sounded pretty cool so I programmed it in as part of our stops for the day of exploring. This park has won awards, I can totally see why. When designing this park they asked kids what they wanted in it so in essence the kids helped design it and it has many of the sites from Astoria replicated to play in.

The Flavel House tribute


Fort Clatsop tribute


Free Willy tribute


Astoria-Megler Bridge tribute


Ship tribute: this could be due to the Goonies ending ship or it could just be towards all the history Astoria has in the shipping world, you decide.

"Calgon take me away!"

Ever have one of those days when you just want to cry?

My daughter is giving me a run for my money. Zach had the terrible two's which to be honest were a breeze. I think the worse thing we had to do with him was work on him with animals. I know he just wanted to play with them but he thought it was funny to push them off the couch or where ever they were purched. Time outs worked with him.

Zoie on the other hand was a breeze through her two's. I was beginning to think this parenting thing wasn't so bad. LOL Then the horrific three's came. YIKES Am I being recruited for that Nanny show? OH yes that has so crossed my mind, but like I want my disgustingly dirty house on TV for the world see, or worse my hiney LOL! She really throws the worst fits I have ever seen, well I've seen some good ones on TV but man where are they coming from? They started with just one on a very rare occasiion, then as time has progressed they seem to creep in more and more.

I've tried time out: I take her to her room, she comes right back out, I put her back she comes right back out {mind you she's screaming at me this entire time}, I put her back, close her door this time and repeat each time she comes out. OY the screaming would someone stop the screaming... please I beg you, no she isn't throwing a fit right now but the screaming just gets to me. I have even gotten down on her level to talk to her. I also tried holding her down while she was kicking and screaming repeating "fits get you nothing" over and over. All that got me was kicked and screamed at to get out, that fit brought me to tears. Which stopped her fit dead in it's tracks, asking to hug me and kiss me. Now some of you may be against spankings but I have even tried a spanking to stop it, all that does is make me feel worse for feeling I had to resort to that form of punishment.

I was talking with Doris about different game plans. Since the above are obviously not working for us. For one the two of them are in this "competition" constantly telling me "boys first" "no girls first" "no boys first" ...repeat until mommy's head spins around. This I am going to take a page out of Doris' parenting book and make a calendar each day with either have a "boy" or a "girl" on it, the one that is on will get first everything for that day. First choice, first to brush teeth, first to do chores etc...obviously they will change as the ages do. I am hoping this will assist me with the fits, this way I can refer to the calendar for those fits that stem from "girls first", "Is it a boy or a girl on the calendar?"

I got these little dollar tree teacher aids that are 2x8 in size that she can stick stickers too, each day give her 6 stickers. Each fit gives mama a sticker, if she ends the day with say three stickers she gets a Dora to put on the sticker card. Once the card is filled up she can go with mama or daddy to the dollar tree and pick out a toy.

Now of course I am such a procrastinator so I haven't done anything yet but yesterday she threw a fit and as she was doing it I went out and got a gogurt and gave Zachy a frozen gogurt and said here you go Zachy you get this because you are being such a good boy. She stopped her fit after a few minutes of more no Zachy doesn't blah blah blah... For the rest of the day she asked for a gogurt and I stood strong and said no you threw a fit, fits get you nothing. Today we managed to go all day with no fits. She got a gogurt after nap today.

Now I ask you, have you had these kinds of fits? If you have how did you attack them?

What have YOU been up to?

I've been working on my trailer we picked up off craigslist...you can find some good deals on there!

Here is our new baby...



Here are some inside views

(before)looking into trailer from doorway



(before)looking from front couch towards doorway/bathroom



(before)shower stall, previous owner added fishies



After views:

Since the previous owner had added fishies to the shower stall I wanted to add some whimsy in the bathroom so I found this fabric to use on the bathroom windows, they are hard to see but I added two fish buttons in the middle of the curtain to keep them shut.



I decided on plaid for my curtains and denim to cover the cushions.



the plaid has yellow in it which I wanted to incorporate the countertops & appliances



After we made all the cushion covers except the largest one for the couch; the cushions were all sewn together so it would have been hard to make one I got a brainiac idea to look for a futon cover for it and to my surprise I found one in denim. I was beyond estatic over my find!

Check out my Slide Show!

Bachelor/Bachelorette

OY!!!

I cannot understand how every single season I pick the wrong one. OY! Now by no means am I saying that Jesse is not a great guy, he just didn't seem like the one for her that I would have picked. I am sure Jason will find the woman that is perfect for him, they'll probably come out of the woodwork for him. Of course it is what they want but I am ready to quit watching both shows.

Sam, Nate & Paige

Been busy lately and avoiding blogging {wink} I guess sometimes knowing you have no readers means it is way too easy to get lazy. I am down 52 pounds regardless of my vacation to Coeur d'Alene, must mean I am following program pretty good.

Now I am watching my friends niece and nephews for a little while while her mom recouperates {did I spell that right?} her sister was at her wits end on what to do for her daycare situation so I was asked to help out. Her kids are Sam, 8 so I only have him couple hours in afternoon; Nathan, 5 he goes off to school for couple hours right in the center of our day; and Paige, 3 1/2. Funny getting used to other peoples kids. Mine (4 & turns 3 on Sunday) are learning to play with new kids.

For the most part things seem to be going good between them, Nate is ADHD so he tends to want to control things but we are learning how to interact with him. Plus I am getting a lesson on foods because it seems as though what they (ADHD) eat really affects their day. Anyone out there have any experience they want to share?

Sand & Stone

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.

DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY,

THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND

SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE


THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT,

BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,

WROTE IN THE SAND,

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.


THEY KEPT ON WALKING UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,

WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED

GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,

BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.


AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,

HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'


THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED

AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND

ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,

YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,

YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'


THE FRIEND REPLIED

'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US

WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN

IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF

FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.


BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES

SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,

WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE

WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'


LEARN TO WRITE

YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND

AND TO CARVE YOUR

BENEFITS IN STONE.


THEY SAY IT TAKES

A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,

AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY TO LOVE THEM,

BUT THEN, AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.



'Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

What a blast!

I did a show last night, my first interactive show and it was such a hoot!

I got the impression people were like "oh" when we mentioned they'd be assembling the recipes but when colors were drawn, envelopes were distributed and go was said... it was so much fun being part of the show. The ones that are "regulars" suddenly came into their element and really helped those that had no clue what a handy scraper was etc...


Planning the show: printer paper, red & blue cardstock, envelopes & and a well laid plan .....$20

Coordinating half aprons in red & blue .....$49.50

Watching them jump on chairs with no worry and doing as the card read .....$"PRICELESS!"

Leap Year!

Not often we get to celebrate leap year so woohoo! My SIL(ex)'s birthday is today and I think she says she's under 10 or something (psst she's in her early 30's) but we like it the years she actually gets her own birthday. So Happy Birthday Azure! (not that she reads my blog but I feel good knowing I posted it!)

I weighed in today of course and here I am blogging, funny it seems I blog more when I am down then stand-stills or gains I don't mean to but I guess subconsciously I am ashamed but by golly I am down from where I started and as long as I don't gain back 50+ pounds in one week I am doing good!

I keep trying to think of good rewards for myself that don't revolve around food! What do you reward yourself with? I thought about going out and getting myself something to wear, but why buy something I won't fit in sometime soon! Right now I seem to be avoiding working on my great race stuff for tonight show so I guess since I admitted it I should get back to it so I will sign off and hope I have some readers that might help me think of some cool rewards... ta-ta